After a two-year hiatus from Bravo and a year in prison for Teresa Giudice, you can watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey online once more.
They’re back, bitches!!!!
Kicking off The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 7 Episode 1? Obviously, a lot of talk about Teresa returning from the slammer.
What’s interesting – and far from unique on popular reality shows – is that the episode built up to to a reunion we already know happened.
And which played out extensively in the media – often thanks to the star herself, who cashed in on every People exclusive she could.
More power to her, but still … a bit of the luster was gone when it felt like we’d seen or heard nearly all of this before, many times over.
Basically, though the behind-the-scenes look did offer real emotion (the girls truly do love Tre), it was anticlimactic at the same time.
The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 7 Episode 1 did set up right out of the gate that Jacqueline Laurita is stepping up her game.
One just gets that feeling when Jacqueline proceeds to make Teresa’s release from Danbury Correctional Facility all about Jacqueline.
She told husband Chris she doesn’t really miss Teresa, rhetorically asking, "Why am I fighting for this friendship that she doesn’t really like?"
Money? Obviously? What else could it …
Anyway, as for the two new housewives, Dolores Catania and Siggy Flicker, we can’t quite get a read on them or what their roles will be. Yet.
Melissa Gorga, meanwhile, wants to open a new boutique, and seems bent on venturing out on her own, without help from hubby Joe.
"It is going to be difficult for me to figure out how to be a modern woman," she said, "and go in the work field and keep those traditional values."
"Because they don’t really go together."
Deep feminist thoughts aside, Melissa and Joe – like everyone else – can’t stop thinking and talking about Teresa coming home at last.
Finally, the big moment arrives in N.J.
While Gia picks out her mother’s clothes, James Leonard tells Joe that Teresa will be under house arrest until her sentence ends in two months.
The paparazzi are swarming outside.
"Get out of here, you dumb stupid people!" Milania yells at them, from a considerable distance, while Teresa’s return home is … subdued?
"Hi honey. Welcome home," Joe says, seemingly not in a hurry to get up from sitting down as she walks in, and responds as they embrace:
"I missed my house, and I missed you."
In no particular order.
"I won’t be naive anymore I learned my lesson, and I won’t make the same mistake twice," she tells the cameras in a profound statement.
Lesson: Playing fast and loose with lending laws, committing bankruptcy fraud and conspiracy to commit wire and mail fraud are one thing.
Being naive, that’s another story.
Joe Giudice, gearing up for his own prison sentence, says that after raising kids by himself for a year, he can survive anything. Lesson:
Prison > Four Daughters.
23 Teresa Giudice GIFs That Should Worry Her Fellow Inmates (and Everyone Else)
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